This Day in History...

On Oct. 28th, 1886, the Statue of Liberty, a gift from the people of France, was dedicated in New York Harbor by President Grover Cleveland. Merci, Grover.

On Oct. 28th, 1936, President Franklin D. Roosevelt rededicated the Statue of Liberty on its 50th anniversary. Merci beaucoup, Franklin.

On Oct. 28th, 1986 President Ronald Reagan thought about re-re-dedicating it for its 100th anniversary but decided it was getting a bit cliche. Tres mal Ronald. Je suis tres dissapointed.

Word of the Day

Galumph
\guh-LUHM(P)F\ , intransitive verb:

1. To move in a clumsy manner or with a heavy tread.

"To prance about in a self-satisfied manner," 1872, coined by Lewis Carroll in "Jabberwocky," apparently by blending gallop and triumph.

"North Egg likes to galumph toward Far Egg's cube, so he knows she's coming."

Tout es fait pour parfaire la securite sur le site de nord oeuf

Due to the growing popularity of the North Egg Dispatch, homeland security to protect its most celebrated (and only) inhabitant has become imperative. Please allow me to introduce Jacques-Henri Girard of the Gendarme, 48th Battalion! He comes to North Egg all the way from his bien-aime homeland on the continent, chosen and then escorted by our bien-aime resident of the Egg Highlands. Merci beaucoup, Monsieur Prince! Praises for your thoughtfulness (and rugged good looks) will be shouted from North Egg, and from the top of the Arc de Triomphe, until the end of time!

Don't cry over skim milk?

9:59 a.m.
In a moment of pragmatism, North Egg uses nonfat milk in her cereal opposed to her usual 2%. She is dreadfully disappointed.

L'


Bienvenue L'Oeuf (Hello.) Notre frère d'une autre mère (We are all one big egg family.) Tu es le bon l'oeuf (You are a good you.) Merci d'être notre ami (Thank you for being our friend.) Au revoir (Talk to Katie about this one, you may need permission to use it.)

Announcement (!)

The Eggs' westerly neighbor shall henceforth be known as West Egg.

A hero in our midst...

11:28 a.m.
A routing disaster was narrowly averted today in North Egg, when her kindly westerly neighbor came to her aid – MacGyver style. Context: Distracted by a whirl of jacket mechanicals, North Egg had absent-mindedly allowed her identification card to fall from her desk to the impenetrably small space between the desk and the city barricade (ie: cubicle partition). Without said identification card, one is unable to move about the building, rendering one’s glorified messenger tasks moot. However!... In a flash, our westerly neighbor was on the scene, proving his prowess for resourcefulness (indeed, the most impressive of Angus MacGyver’s traits) with a unusually large metal slab. With said slab, our kind westerly neighbor was able to extract not only the mislaid identification card, but also several sheets of papers, one thumb tack, and approximately half a dozen dust bunnies. Well done, westerly neighbor. Richard Dean Anderson would be proud.

A tribute to South Egg

North Egg (leaving for the night): "Au Revoir!"
South Egg: "Who do you think you are!? .... L'Oeuf!?"

South Egg, murmuring to no one in particular, "Also... Who says no to Justin Timberlake? Not me...... just kidding..."

South Egg, referring the erotica author Ghetto Girl Blue: "I know her. She dated Little Boy Blue. It ended badly, but she kept the name."

Breaking news

2:53 p.m.
This just in, South Egg makes many funny, well-timed jokes during the release meeting, making it all the more enjoyable for North Egg.

Word of the Day

Fetor:
\FEE-tuhr; FEE-tor\ , noun:
1. A strong, offensive smell; stench.

If North and South Egg were left out in the sun for too long, there might soon be a strong fetor contaminating the breeze.

This Day in History...

October 21st, 1959 – In New York City, the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum opens to the public. It was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Happy birthday Guggenheim!

Word of the Day

foofaraw\FOO-fuh-raw\ noun:

1.Excessive or flashy ornamentation or decoration.

2.A fuss over a matter of little importance.

When choosing an egg cup be sure to go light on the foofaraw; after all it's what's on the inside that counts!

Congratulations to the Egg Highlands

In honor of Mr. New Jersey in the Egg Highlands, who just solved the incorrigible Rubik's Cube: Please see bulleted list below. The completed cube can be viewed in the Highlands, for a limited time only.

• Ernő Rubik invented the Cube in the spring of 1974 in his home town of Budapest, Hungary. He wanted a working model to help explain three-dimensional geometry and ended up creating the world’s best selling toy.
• Rubik’s inspiration for the Cube’s internal mechanism came from pebbles in the River Danube whose edges had been smoothed away.
• More than 300 million Rubik’s Cubes have been sold worldwide. If all the cubes were placed on top of each other it would be enough to reach the North Pole from the South Pole!
• The biggest Cube in the world, on display in Knoxville, Tennessee, is 3 metres tall and weighs over 500kg.

Electronic mail update

1:57 p.m.
The day is half over and North Egg has sent a record-low of ten emails. One to editorial, one to design, and eight to Far Egg.

No rest for the weary...

12:42 p.m.

It’s time for North Egg’s westerly neighbor to return to the dreaded dentist for round two of repair on his injured incisors. We wish your pearly whites all the best, dear westerly neighbor, as well as a speedy recovery.

Word of the Day

pukka\PUHK-uh\ , adjective:

1.Authentic; genuine.
2.Superior; first-class.

Origin:
Pukka comes from Hindi pakka, meaning "cooked or ripe."

The bitter, unpukka lemons made North Egg pukka up.

Sharing is Caring!

4:19 p.m.
Far Egg exemplified a heart of gold to his neighbor in North Egg today, by sharing a slice of his much-coveted ice cream cake. He didn't have to, but he chose to. Thank you, Far Egg. You made North Egg's afternoon so much better.

Hottest Bachelors Spotted Near North Egg

1:33 p.m.
In honor of the Hottest Bachelors of 2009 lining 49th street this morning, North Egg has compiled a list of quotes (compliments of Cosmopolitan magazine) from the states that make up the readership of the North Egg Dispatch. Is it just the opinion of the humble compiler, or are the Hottest Bachelors from Hawaii, Kentucky, New Jersey, and North Dakota, oddly similar to the Hottest Readers of the North Egg Dispatch?

"I'm like Ross from Friends — I'll just spout random facts about trees or lava for minutes at a time." --Mr. Hawaii

"I'm unpredictable, outgoing, and pensive." –Mr. Kentucky

"I don't like negative or gossipy girls." He loves: "If she scratches my head" – Mr. New Jersey

"Someone told me once that whenever they have a problem, they call me. I really appreciated that." –Mr. North Dakota


[for more information, please google cosmopolitan magazine]

Monday, Monday...

1:53 p.m.
It's a lonely day in North Egg. South Egg is absent today. What is a North Egg to do?

Word of the Day

Lucubrate:

1. (rare) To work diligently by artificial light; to study at night.

2. To work or write like a scholar.

Word of the Day

Amanuensis [uh-man-yoo-en-sis] :
1. A person employed to write what another dictates or to copy what has been written by another; secretary.

"One who takes dictation," 1619, from L. amanuensis, from servus a manu "secretary," lit. "servant from the hand," from a "from" + manu, ablative of manus "hand"

Recommended Reading:

A Happy Marriage
by Rafael Yglesias

“Rafael Yglesias’ novel—long and graceful and written to display an intimacy wincingly believable—is about life, itself, not just one particular marriage. As the book alternates between past and present, we grow, along with the characters: as they jump boundaries, so do we; as they resign themselves to a sad inevitability, we feel viscerally cornered, too. It’s a punch-in-the-stomach book, but the sharpness forces us to open our eyes wide. Impressive.”

—Ann Beattie, author of Follies

A Festive Friday

12:33 p.m.
Clad in their Casual Friday jeans and sneakers (with the exception of one North Egg resident), the Eggs (and beyond) celebrated the end of a dynasty in the best way they know how: with a decadent spread of carbohydrates on the common table. The party preparations got off to a rocky start, including, but not limited to a call-in-sick, a woefully not-prompt party planner, and one South Egg resident failing to remember his wallet when attempting to purchase the coffee-in-bulk. All obstacles were gracefully managed (that is, after all, what we do) including the tardy arrival of the guest of honor, and the party turned out a success. The North Egg Dispatch salutes you Edison. Your candle burned out long before your legend ever will.

Word of the Day

Titivate [TIT-uh-vayt]
1. To make decorative additions to; spruce.
2. To make oneself smart or spruce.

The Fleeting Bog

Today marks the final day residents of the Eggs are able to witness the berries-a-plenty in the plaza. Free cranberry products for all! (including, but not limited to dried cranberries, juice*, and drink mix.) Cranberries contain powerful nutrients called proanthocyanidins, referred to as PACs, which research suggests help keep certain bacteria from sticking inside the body. The PACs in cranberries are different from other fruits, which gives them more “anti-stick” power. Highly relevant to the North Egg Dispatch readership, studies also suggest cranberries may keep certain oral bacteria from attaching to teeth and gum surfaces. Fewer bacteria could potentially help keep gums healthy and slow the development of plaque and cavities.

*One is advised to be on watch for free beverages containing only twenty to thirty percent juice, and only accept the elusive beverage containing one hundred percent juice.

Word of the Day

sar⋅to⋅ri⋅al 
[sahr-tawr-ee-uhl, -tohr-]–adjective

1.of or pertaining to tailors or their trade: sartorial workmanship.
2.of or pertaining to clothing or style or manner of dress: sartorial splendor.
3.Anatomy. pertaining to the sartorius.


*KM's sartorial palate really blends nicely with our blog's aesthetic. Stay classy KM.

With regret...

12:57 p.m.
It is with a heavy heart that The North Egg Dispatch report the loss of its most beloved resident residing directly north of North Egg. JR remains with the Eggs in spirit, and we look forward to hearing of her future conquests. Condelences to the remaining assistants...

Word of the Day*

Magniloquent:
Speaking in or characterized by a high-flown often bombastic style or manner.

*The North Egg Dispatch expresses its sincere apologies that the Word of the Day was not provided on 5 October 2009. Due to technical difficulties, the blogosphere was inaccessible for a large portion of the day. We hope this snafu will not affect the dedication of your readership.

Kevin's Homecoming

After a long hiatus, Kevin (West of North Egg) has returned, a married man. The women of the office are aflutter with questions. The other men of the office (as usual) have yet to appear at their desks. Enthusiastic congratulations from the North Egg Dispatch to the offical Mr. and Mrs. Kevin and Kelsey.

Who loves the smell of napalm in the morning?

8:37 a.m.
The sun rose unusually early in North Egg this morning. Oatmeal, a chocolate chip scone, and microwaved coffee are on the menu for breakfast. It's a magical day in the plaza: It's fire safety day, and the ice skating rink is almost complete... not to mention there is some sort of cheerful pink celebration happening to the west of the Avenue of the Americas.

More Breaking News

3:51 p.m.
Debris is falling from the sky in North Egg. It is suspected to have come from the South Egg region. Said debris can be described as a rectangularly shaped photo of a smiling man. Please be on alert.

Breaking News

3:48 p.m.
Web reporting is back up.

The inevitable Friday mid-afternoon slump

3:21 p.m.
It might be time for hot chocolate in North Egg.

"I'm actually for some reason quite content, gastronomically speaking." -South Egg

Word of the Day

Troika:
1. a Russian carriage, wagon, or sleigh drawn by a team of three horses abreast.
2. a team of three horses driven abreast.
3. any group of three persons, nations, etc., acting equally in unison to exert influence, control, or the like.

The Inaugural Post

1:51 p.m.
It's another slow day in North Egg. The Bog is coming, and the assistants have been alerted accordingly. Operation Anti-Flu is in full swing. Three mugs of water have been consumed, and only one small cup of coffee. Tristan sang on his way out to lunch, and name-dropped through the afternoon. Seems like a slow day in South Egg, too.